The Practice of Therapy Podcast with Gordon Brewer: Elizabeth Broyhill Morris | Creating Hope And Resilience

Elizabeth Broyhill Morris | Creating Hope And Resilience | TPOT 149

Oct 12, 2020

In this episode, Elizabeth Broyhill Morris, the Founder of Living Hope, joins the show. We talk about the difference between hope and expectation. When we expect something to happen, we are relying on external factors. When we hope, we understand that our life is in our own control. Then, Elizabeth reveals the eight practices you can utilize to sustain hope - Surrender, Stillness, Grief, Honesty, Curiosity, Forgiveness, Resilience, and Joy. Stay tuned as Elizabeth dives into how to put these actions into place to start your journey to joy.

Meet Elizabeth Broyhill Morris

Elizabeth Broyhill Morris is the Founder of Living Hope. Through her own experience of finding Hope after struggle and trauma, she found herself privileged to offer love and encouragement to others who were in despair. In sharing her words and wisdom and receiving them from others, she came to believe that Hope is not an emotion – it is an action that must be practiced consistently and intentionally.

This project has been a labor of love that evolved over the course of several years, gaining traction, slowing down, and eventually going silent for a time. The turning point, however, was in 2015, when Elizabeth lost a precious friend who died unexpectedly and tragically. In her grief, Elizabeth was called to speak on a broader platform to people who were losing hope. From this experience grew a team of devoted individuals who brought the community of Living Hope to life.

Elizabeth lives in Chapel Hill, N.C., with her husband, their son, and a new baby on the way. She is a voracious reader, amateur cook, aspiring gardener, and passionate community volunteer.

Hope vs. Expectation

There is a big difference between hope and expectations. Disappointment is just an unmet expectation. Who are you hoping to be, and who are you expecting to be? Hope is the sweet spot. You should never fully expect something to happen a certain way. Expectations are focusing on something outside of yourself. We need to think about our locus of control.

People who are happiest in life have an internal locus of control – they know themselves well, and they know how to handle their own emotions well. People with an external locus of control are continually responding to what they think everyone else wants or thinks. At the end of the day, we need a great “I am.” We all have the ability to tap into our internal wisdom. Expectations are entirely external. Whenever we are externally focused, we are going to get tripped up.

Eight Practices To Sustain Hope

Elizabeth identified eight specific practices that create and sustain hope – Surrender, Stillness, Grief, Honesty, Curiosity, Forgiveness, Resilience, and Joy. It is these eight Practices that became the cornerstone of Living Hope. You have to be totally focused on your personal therapeutic practice and you can’t put it down. So, Elizabeth sat down and thought about her process of recovering from divorce. These steps need to be interchangeable for any challenge in your life. Elizabeth dives into her eight practices for hope:

Surrender: let it go.
Stillness: sit with it; it’s gone now.
Grief: we have to process our grief; it is absolutely vital to go through the grieving process. Do not get stuck in the grieving process.
Honesty: sit down and get honest with yourself. Ask yourself, how did I get here?
Curiosity: what happened in your past that shapes the way you pursue this? All the puzzle pieces are starting to come together.
Forgiveness: there is a lot of value to forgive someone. The most significant piece is forgiving yourself for going through that. You can really find freedom through forgiveness.
Resilience: pull your bootstraps up, stand up, and move forward. Find fresh new air.
Joy: this is the ultimate practice of hope. Step into a space of complete freedom and joy – it’s an incredibly loving place to be.

When we are in crisis, we need to slow down enough to get the landscape. This framework gives people steppingstones. Grief is at the heart of everything we struggle with as human beings. Once we can move through grief, we can be on our way to find joy.

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